Growth, Anyway

This week has been challenging and frustrating.  So much so that I had to step away from making content and social media.  The tone, rhetoric, and discussions around the inauguration, executive orders, and the state of this country have been divisive and uninformed. For the first time in a long time, I found myself wanting to respond, and engage with every comment in hopes of providing a perspective that would inspire change, and I also know better.  But I know, so much of this week is going to stay with me. 

I couldn't let go of the following quote:

“We will forge a society that is color-blind and merit based.” -Donald Trump

When I heard Donald Trump say this, I felt immediate disappointment. I couldn’t believe that the president of one of the most diverse countries in the entire world would advocate for color-blindness. Colorblindness is an ideology that believes the best way to achieve equality is by treating everyone the same, without considering race, ethnicity, or cultural background.  In practice, this would be near impossible even in a perfect world. We are all inherently different and our differences add to our perspectives. To be color-blind is to discount the context and subtext of a person’s lived experiences. As a black man, I have lived experiences that are vastly different from those of white men or women and I acknowledge that their lived experiences are different from mine.  We can’t keep discounting the identities in favor of merit. Our identities contribute to the context of our accomplishments.  Furthermore, we have to stop pretending that America has ever been an even playing field. 

The question I kept trying to answer is; “How do you reach self-actualization when you are constantly fighting for your own existence?” 

In Maslov’s Hierarchy of Needs, Self actualization is at the top and can only be achieved when the other levels of the pyramid have been achieved.  From the bottom up there are psychological needs, safety and security, love and belonging, self esteem, and finally self actualization.  My question stems from my own journey as I think through the political climate and my own safety, and feelings of belonging. I think about how hard it was to overcome my own misinformed thoughts of myself as people who looked like me were so often portrayed as criminals, uneducated, or were just left out all together.  As I have grown, our country has slowly evolved as well. Though, black men are still disproportionately portrayed as criminals in the media and the absent black father stereotype persists; we have seen a black president, present fathers, and other positive representations. This is paramount to the psychological safety, feelings of belonging, and self esteem of young people and adults. The discounting of identity only perpetuates othering. I believe acknowledgment and acceptance is so important for the individual and our society.  There are so many ethnicities, and identities that make up the fabric of our countries and we should celebrate them all.

So, what do we do to combat the narratives and shifts in rhetoric? How can we continue to grow when identity politics are being used to discount who you are. 

Here are 5 Empowering Ways to Reinforce Your Growth Journey:

1. Anchor Yourself in Your Values and Identity

Define yourself for yourself. Reaffirm who you are and take the time to reflect on your core values, strengths and unique qualities that makes you who you are.  Create a practice of internal validation like saying affirmations. 

2. Find Strength in Community 

Seeking out support from communities who celebrate you and who you are fully. Surrounding yourself with like-minded people can provide comfort, guidance, and resources. Find advocacy groups or initiatives working toward equity and inclusion, transforming your experience into collective action and empowerment.

3. Reframe Challenges as Opportunities for Growth 

Use your challenges as growth opportunities.  Learn, advocate for yourself, and expand your capacity for resilience. Focus on how overcoming this adversity strengthens your character and contributes to your personal and professional growth.

4. Educate Yourself and Others  

Continue to learn. It’s important to understand your rights, identity politics, and systemic biases.  Your knowledge will support you in advocating for yourself and others. Engage in conversations with others to help build bridges of understanding.

5. Transform Adversity into Purpose

Finally use your experiences to create change. Tell your story, mentor others, participate in activism and use your voice and perspective as the powerful tools they are.  You can use your experience to uplift others.