Getting Back up
I had intentions of sharing something different, but life happens and this felt more relevant.
Some say I'm an adrenaline junky, but I’ve called myself a Flow Chaser ever since I read “The Rise of Superman” by Stephen Kotler. In the book, he explores the science of “Flow”, which is a state of consciousness where people perform at their highest level. The book draws on over a decade of research and interviews athletes like Laird Hamilton, Jeremey Jones, and Danny Way. For me, it provided a deeper level of understanding of myself and who I have been for all of my life. I have been in a constant search of flow, because of how it made me feel and how it positively impacted other aspects of my life. I’m not going to go too deep but I want to give some context before continuing. Flow requires a challenge. Usually, tasks are 4% more difficult than a person’s current skill set. Flow also happens in stages: struggle, release, flow, and recover. Finally, flow can be applied to different aspects of life. Flow is that “runner’s high” or when folks say they’re in the ”zone”. I have always described it as unconscious hyper focus. But, as with most things in life, there is an obstacle that must be overcome before you can reap the benefits. Struggle, it is paramount for so many things in life. It comes before success, innovation, results, completion, and flow. It is a norm. That means other norms have to be, doing it again, trying harder, or getting back up.
This past weekend, I was in Utah mountain biking right outside of Park City. It was a tough ride and the first 3 miles covered about 1000 ft elevation gain. I was exhausted and honestly I didn’t prepare properly for the ride. I didn’t eat enough prior or bring enough water to safely sustain in the heat. There was a moment where I realized those factors didn’t matter. My mind became clear, the pain in my body subsided, and I became hyper-focused. Flow could sustain me for the remainder of the ride, but I would have to pay the cost of pushing my body beyond its limits. I have learned to exit and re-enter flow, partly because there are moments I have to make the right decision for the situation. This particular situation needed me to make the decision of turning around because I lacked the resources, food and water, to continue. My friend and I decided to turn around. The ride back was epic. Almost four miles of downhill single track trail. I was in the zone and periodically I would jump out to make sure my friend was good. On one occasion, I looked back, hit a rock, over compensated and flipped my bike off the trail. My friend said all they saw was my bike in the air going off the side of the trail. For visual purposes, this trail was on the side of a small mountain. The right side of the trail went up and the left side went down, and in some places it was steeper than others.
I went over the handlebars and landed flush on my back. I don’t know if I was in shock. I was very conscious the entire time. Initially, I didn’t move. I had to do a quick inventory of my body. My friend asked repeatedly if I was ok. I didn’t answer. I sat up, and again checked in with my body before I stood up and got my bike back to the trail. I finally responded to let them know I was ok. I was hurt, and my ego took a hit, but I got back on the bike and finished the ride.
Moments like this have a similar cadence in different areas of my life. I have become very efficient at getting up, and dusting myself off. Firstly, I’ve always pushed myself beyond my skill set, so I understand falling is possible. Secondly, I understand that falling is not failure. Just because I fall doesn’t mean it’s over and it also doesn’t diminish all the effort I put in or the distance I have covered. Thirdly, practice makes progress. Resilience is cultivated over time and practiced. You have to learn how to fall and learn the best way for you to get back up.
Here is my four-step process for getting back up:
1. Acceptance
The first step in bouncing back from any setback is to accept what has happened. It’s easy to get caught up in disappointment or frustration, but acceptance allows you to release the emotional weight tied to it. Resistance only prolongs suffering. Acceptance opens the door to healing. Remind yourself that setbacks are part of the journey, and embracing them helps you grow and move forward effectively.
2. Inventory the Moment
Once you’ve accepted the situation, take a moment to reflect on what happened. This is your opportunity to learn. What went wrong? What factors were within your control, and what weren’t? Inventory the lessons without judgment or blame—this is about gaining insight, not criticism. By understanding the moment and the events that led to the setback, you empower yourself with knowledge to avoid repeating the same mistakes in the future.
3. Mentally Prepare
Before diving back in, take time to mentally reset. Visualize yourself overcoming the obstacle, and set a positive, resilient mindset. Preparing mentally means refocusing on your goals with renewed determination. Remind yourself of your past successes and inner strength. Practice affirmations like, “I am capable of overcoming this challenge,” and imagine yourself succeeding despite the previous setback.
4. Start Again
Now that you’ve accepted the setback, taken inventory, and mentally prepared, it’s time to act. Starting again doesn’t mean picking up exactly where you left off—it’s about making adjustments and moving forward with the lessons learned. Take small, intentional steps toward your goal, and focus on progress rather than perfection. Each step, no matter how small, moves you forward. Remember, resilience is built through persistence, and every time you start again, you’re stronger than before.
For me, this process is undefeated. Whether it’s flying over handlebars or facing a layoff, these four steps have consistently helped me process and move forward more quickly and efficiently. Over the years, people have often asked how I’ve bounced back so fast, and honestly, it wasn’t until I landed on my back that I found the words to explain it. Getting back up is about having a plan in place for when you fall; it gives you the confidence to take risks and challenge yourself.
Remember, The Journey is the Destination.